How a Man Pinched a Girl’s Breast

by

DMITRY MIKHAILOVICH BALASHOV



Once there were two neighbours. One was rich and the other was poor. The poor neighbour had a son, but the rich neighbour had a daughter. One evening the daughter went off to a party, but before the party she and the poor neighbour’s son had been in the bathhouse and he had pinched her. Yes – his father had been bringing back the hay, he had been mowing the hay – and the poor neighbour’s son had gone and pinched her on the breast. And she had said to him,

‘Come round, friend, in the evening!’ ,

‘The rich girl is calling me,’ he said to himself. ‘I’ll go as quick as I can.’ ,

He ate and drank and put on his best clothes. Along he went – but everyone there was already on horseback. Out from the bathhouse she came and struck him with a whip. ‘Once a young lad,’ she said, ‘but now a fine stallion!’ ,

She mounted him – and off she rode. Forty of them came together in the steppe – forty such maidens on forty such stallions. And they galloped and galloped. Which of them could strike their stallion the most? Which of them could make their stallion run wildest? ,

Towards morning they all went back to their homes. But first they all gathered at the same bathhouse. The girls struck their whips and said, ‘Once a fine stallion, but now a young lad!’ ,

Now young lads once again, back home they all went, swaying as they walked. They had galloped all through the night – those girls had worn them out. ,

‘Come round, friend, in the evening!’ called out the rich neighbour’s daughter. ,

‘No,’ he thought. ‘I’ve had enough.’ ,

Back home he went. His father began to scold him: ‘What have you been doing? Out revelling all night! It’s already time we were off to the forest – and you’re only just back from your revels!’ ,

But the stepmother took the lad’s side. ‘You were young once,’ she said to her husband. ‘You used to go out all night too!’ ,

The father went off to the forest, but the young lad stayed at home. And the stepmother began asking questions: ‘Where were you? What have you been up to?’ ,

‘Well, yesterday we were bringing in the hay, and the neighbour’s daughter was there, and she said to me, “Come round, friend, in the evening!” So I go to the bathhouse, but she strikes me with a whip and says, “Once a young lad, but now a fine stallion!” And she mounted me and was off. And there were forty of them out in the steppe, and they rode us all night, and towards morning they all went back to the same bathhouse as before and they struck us with their whips and said, “Once a fine stallion, but now a young lad!” And off we all went, swaying as we walked.’ ,

‘Did she tell you to come again?’ asked the stepmother. ,

‘Yes, she did. She called out, “Come round, friend, in the evening!” – but I’m not going.’ ,

‘No,’ said the stepmother. ‘You must go. I’ll tell you what to do.’ ,

Evening set in. The father came back from the forest. The young lad got ready. The stepmother gave him six bricks and a rooster, put an awl in his right hand and gave him three iron skillets to put on his head. ,

‘Now,’ she said, ‘you must go before anyone’s there, before they come to the party. Sit on the floor, make these bricks into a wall and put the skillets on top of your head like a roof. Tuck the rooster against your left side and hold the awl in your right hand. When they fly in and insult you, when they rush into the bathhouse, you must poke the rooster. The rooster will crow and they’ll all rush out of the bathhouse again. And when the girl is left behind on her own, you must seize her by her braid. You must catch her and not let go. There in your hands she’ll turn herself into one creature after another. She’ll turn into a mouse, then a rat, but you mustn’t let go. Just keep hold of her braid. Then she’ll turn into a spindle. You must snap the spindle, pick it up again and say, “One end be a beautiful maiden, the other end be a heap of gold!” Then strike her with the whip and say, “Once a fair maiden, now a young filly!” ’ ,

He collected all this stuff and went off to the bathhouse. He put the bricks all round him, he put the skillets on top of his head, he took hold of the rooster and the awl – and there he sat. And then there they all were! They opened the door and flew in as ravens. ,

‘But now he’s waiting in a city of stone,’ they said. ‘He’s sitting under a roof of iron.’ ,

And they began pecking at this roof of his. But he prodded the rooster with his awl, and the rooster crowed. They all rushed out of the bathhouse. The girl was left behind on her own. He seized her by her braid. There in his hands she began turning herself into one creature after another. She was a mouse, then a rat, and who knows what else. But he didn’t let go. Then she turned into a spindle. He took the spindle, snapped it in half and said, ‘One end be a fair maiden, the other end be a heap of gold!’ ,

And she turned into a fair maiden. And he led her out of the bathhouse, struck her with a whip, mounted her and rode off. He rode into open steppe. He rode and rode. He beat her and whipped her. He galloped and galloped for all he was worth. He made her fair sweat, he did, but he never went anywhere near those other forty. And in the meantime those forty were arguing. Was he riding on her? Or was she riding him? There was no way they could tell. ,

‘Beyond thrice-nine seas, beyond thrice-nine lands, in the thrice-ninth tsardom, in the thrice-ninth country, lives a lad who has never been baptised and who has never prayed. Let him tell us!’ ,

They found a little lame girl, and she ran off and dragged this lad along, but he wouldn’t say anything. (This lad, you see, was a friend of the poor man’s son.) They dragged the lad back where he’d come from. Then they said, ‘Beyond thrice-nine seas, beyond thrice-nine lands, in the thrice-ninth tsardom, in the thrice-ninth country, lives a lass who has never been baptised and who has never prayed. Let her tell us!’ ,

And once again the little lame girl ran off and she dragged this girl along to them. And then they learned that it was he who had been riding on her. Well, they all rode about for a while and then they rode home. All of them went home, but he was the last of all. He struck his filly with a whip and said, ‘Once a young filly, now a fair maiden!’ ,

And then she said, ‘Come and ask for my hand and I’ll be your wife. You have made me human again.’ (There had been an unclean spirit in her, you see.) ,

By the time he got back home, it was already light. The father had gone off into the forest. The stepmother asked, ‘Well, who was the rider and who was ridden? Did you ride on her, or did she ride you?’ ,

‘I rode on her. The girls wanted to know. They tried all they could to find out and they brought along a lad from beyond thrice-nine seas, from beyond thrice-nine lands, but he didn’t say. Then they brought a lass from beyond thrice-nine seas, from beyond thrice-nine lands, a lass who had never been baptised and who had never prayed. It was this lass who told them – yes, that’s how they found out. And then we all rode back home, and I was the last of all. And then she said, “Send your mother to ask for my hand and I’ll marry you. You’ve made me human.” ’ ,

The stepmother gave him something to eat and drink, then put him to bed. ,

Back came the father. He began scolding his son. ,

The stepmother took the lad’s side. ‘You were young once,’ she said to her husband. ‘You used to go revelling too!’ ,

They sat down to eat and drink. The stepmother said, ‘It’s time your son married. Else he’ll be going out revelling night after night.’ ,

‘All right then. What’s stopping him?’ ,

‘Well, shall I ask for the hand of our neighbour’s daughter?’ ,

‘A likely story!’ laughed the father. ‘As if our rich neighbour’s going to give his daughter to our poor son!’ ,

‘I’ll go round and ask,’ said the stepmother. ,

The father told her not to go. ‘We’re poor and needy,’ he kept saying, ‘but our neighbours are rich.’ But the stepmother slipped round all the same. And so she talked about this, and she talked about that, and then she asked if her stepson could marry their daughter. ,

‘Do you think we’ve raised our daughter just for your son?’ laughed the father. ,

But then the daughter opened the door. ‘Papenka,’ she said, ‘let me marry him. He’s my groom. He’s made me human.’ ,

After that, the father didn’t say another word. There was a merry feast and a wedding.